A Look Back At My Kinky Hair Journey

In the spirit of the new year and new beginnings, I was clearing out my laptop the other day… a never-ending task that began when I got it, but I digress…when I came across some photos of me from before I started on this "healthy hair journey". I realised I hadn't done a post in a couple of weeks, thereby not upholding New Year's resolution number 1. The situation in Nigeria over the past few weeks took a turn that put blogging a few rungs down the ladder in the grand scheme of things. My hair is still in braids, so there's nothing to update about on that front, and the strikes meant that I hadn't been able to meet up with my friend who took photographs of the Birthday Bash, and there are apparently too many to email. So blog post subjects were a bit thin on the ground. However, seeing all these pictures suddenly inspired me to begin a post on my hair journey which, once I started writing, pretty much blossomed into a book. Or at least, a rather long pamphlet. You'll be glad to know I have now broken this down into bite-sized pieces to form a series of hair tips, following on from the Kinky Hair 101 post.

I can’t count the number of times people have told me they would go natural if their hair was "like mine", or people who are natural and say they struggle because their texture is “difficult”. There are some people who assume that the appearance of my hair is solely due to my genes. People also believe that when you go natural, your hair is automatically healthier. While genes play a role in our hair growth, and it is true that it is easier to cultivate a healthy head of hair when you are not putting chemicals in it, my pictures clearly illustrate the difference in the appearance and health of my natural hair before I started following a healthy regimen, and after. 

I have always had a lot of hair. In fact I find it amusing when people imply that I might have an "easier" hair texture, because I have broken an obscene number of combs in my lifetime. I have the kind of hair that makes hairdressers cower when I walk in to the salon, because it is really rather dense. Which is why I am glad I no longer have to rely on them! 


I have also never had problems growing my hair or retaining length, even when I was relaxed. In fact this was one of the factors that inspired me to go natural- the constant regrowth I seemed to experience. However, because my hair is so dense and coils tightly on itself, creating nightmare tangles, it always just seemed unmanageable. So much so that at a loss for what to do with it, my poor mum got me my first kiddie perm at the age of 9. 

I have told my natural hair story to anyone who will listen, but for fun, I'll do it again. I first went natural about 12 years ago, not to make any kind of political statement, not really even because I was particularly concerned about health. I was just sick of having to go to the hairdresser every 6 weeks for a touch up, and I dreaded it because I always, ALWAYS, got burned! Also I am one of those people who doesn't like to feel constrained, or like I am obliged to do anything, and that was exactly how I felt when I was relaxed. The idea that I needed to constantly do something every six weeks to look presentable made me feel quite suffocated. I distinctly remember the realisation that the effect of my relaxer was so fleeting. I would admire my hair in the mirror about a week after I had been to the hairdresser's (after the relaxer burn had died down. Sigh), and note wistfully that I only had about one more week, 2 tops, of it looking nice. And there was never any question of stretching my relaxers, as my regrowth was always ridiculous. 


Thinking back, it was also constantly breaking and shedding. Literally every time I combed, or even ran my hands through it. At the time I thought this was pretty normal, but when I think back I shudder. Now as an aside, I am not saying that this was solely the result of having relaxed hair. A lot of people are relaxed and with good regimens are able to retain a phenomenal amount of length. I was just generally clueless, and had horrendous haircare practices (curling tongs every single day, anybody?) 

Actually alarmed at how much like
my brother I look in this pic!

So I went for the chop. I'd waited about 3 months from my last relaxer and had about 2 inches of hair. At twa stage, it was pretty simple, and I mainly just did wash and go's graduating to two-strand twists and twistouts (although I had no idea that was what any of this was called at the time ). Its been quite hard to find pictures of the early days, as digital cameras were still a future invention at the time (yes, its been that long, and yes, I am THAT old).


After a while, I got to the awkward phase where my hair was neither long nor short and I had no clue what to do with it, so I braided back to back for several years.

One day, I took out my braids and realized I had loads of hair. So instead of looking after it, I started messing around with it. Of course that was the beginning of a slippery slope. I NEVER styled without using direct heat, and I don’t think I even knew what a heat protectant was. Every time I washed my hair, I would dry it (probably without even using a leave-in. I don't really remember) using the pik attachment of my hairdryer, without having detangled properly first and just ripping through the knots.

Birthday braidout done on blow-dried hair 

Flat-ironed hair

I also flat ironed like mad. Both of the pictures above were taken about 6 years ago when I first moved back to Lagos. I was still using products geared towards relaxed hair, but at this point, my hair was the longest it had ever been at the time. I think I was just past APL, and while it didn't look bad at all, it was ridiculously dry and my ends were a mess. It had also taken me 7 whole years to get there! 

I actually very clearly remember that the day the second picture was taken. I had gone to some hairdresser who was even more clueless about natural hair than I was. Fed up with her ripping through my hair, pulling it out by the roots, and arguing when I tried to correct her, I stormed out in a rage, hair half done (my speciality, but perhaps more on that in a later post). I went to a friend’s complaining about what had just happened, and she kindly offered to help me... by frying the hell out of it with a flat iron and without any form of heat protectant. And I gladly acquiesced.

Needless to say, although neither of the pictures above seem to illustrate any kind of damage, my hair did not look like that for more than a few months.

The more I heat styled, the drier and more split my hair got. I also began to lose my curl pattern, and eventually started losing length:

Yes, people. Heat damage is real!!

Also I found styling my hair incredibly tedious. My washing and detangling technique (or lack thereof) made me believe my hair was unmanageable. Washing was such a chore: I used sulphate shampoos which would cause my hair to shrink and knot, I didn't detangle properly with my conditioner, and then I would start the process of ripping through my hair with my hairdryer and pik attachment, effectively giving myself a (bad) haircut every time I washed. I never looked forward to wash day, and would delay as long as possible, meaning I would go several weeks without getting proper moisture in my hair.

I didn’t want to start braiding constantly again, and I was just looking for a simple way to get ‘wash and wear’ hair. I somehow got it into my head (thanks to some other clueless hairdresser) that a texturizer would be the answer. A texturizer. On heat damaged hair!!!!

Well peeps, this stringy mess was the result:

Texturizing + continued heat styling + other bad haircare practises

From the second I did it, I regretted it. My hair was dull and limp, and literally broke off every time I touched it. I had to cut inches off every couple of months. So I decided to transition back almost straight away. Although I had BC’d the first time I'd gone natural, this time around I couldn’t psychologically bring myself to shave it all off, and I went back to the constant braiding after all.


It was around this time that I started doing a lot of research into natural hair care, and the internet was a complete treasure trove of information.

After finally getting rid of the last few texturized ends, my hair went from here:

Oct '09

                                                            To here:

April '10

                                                                                                                                   To here:

Dec '10

I was initially very focussed on length, but after a few months focussed more on health. That meant doing things like giving myself trims as and when I needed them (more often in fact, as I tried to get the front to catch up with the back), instead of hanging onto stringy damaged split ends just because I wanted to be a certain length. 

And with health, the length came naturally.

And the difference in texture, softness and shine is so obvious it even shows in pictures, as illustrated in these ones of my early twistouts taken in October '09, when I was just starting off on this healthy hair journey... 

This was actually about an hour before I chopped off the last bits of texturizer

... compared to what it looks like now that I understand my hair's properties, know how to handle it, have a proper regimen,  have sorted out my moisture-protein balance, figured out its likes and dislikes, pay attention to ingredients and am selective about the products I use:

The journey so far...

Despite my numerous chops, my hair is NOW the longest it has ever been, and I have hit BSL several times. I haven't straightened in a long time, but if I ever do (taking adequate care), I will make sure I post a comparison to the flat ironed picture above.


So you see, people, although none of the earlier pictures show my hair looking particularly bad (apart from the ghastly texturizer stage which we shall block from our memories as soon as we're done reading this post), it is obvious when compared to what it looks like now that it had not reached its full potential, and it probably still hasn't.


Now that was a ramble and a half and I'll try and keep it to a page next time, but I didn't launch into all of this to brag. Well... maybe a little... because I really do love my hair... but my main point was that finding these pics reminded me that there was a time that I too struggled with it, and although I never went through the phase that some people go through where they hate it, there were points when I thought it was a lost cause. If I'm honest, the reason I was worried to cut my hair off the second time was that I had gotten used to having long hair, and I was under the impression that I had reached an age where my hair would never grow back. How wrong I was.


Yes, ultimate hair length, growth rates, textures, etc are genetic. Some of us will have loose curls, some of us will have tight kinks. Some of us will have both. Some of us will end up with waist length hair, and some of us will not. All that matters is that we figure out what is best for our own hair and help it to reach its full potential. And at the end of the day, and as cliche as it might sound, all healthy hair really is beautiful!

I hope that through the series of posts that I have written, I can pass on what worked for me, and offer encouragement to anyone who might be feeling disillusioned about their journey. Hopefully you will be able to take something from them that you can make work for you.


Until next time, have a good one, my lovelies!

...

In the next post, I talk about growth and retention (here's a hint: pretty much everybody's hair grows. If you think your hair is not growing, you are probably just having issues retaining it!)